Q
OMG! I’ve started feeling confident enough to date again. It was going pretty well and I was actually having fun…but a few weekends ago the fellow I went out with took the liberty of ordering for the both of us. (It was a first date and he was trying to be impressive. I’ll admit I was kind of wooed.) Anyway he ordered some heavy, buttery appetizers. I just grinned and ate the escargot, thinking, “It’ll be fine,I haven’t had bad symptoms in ages.” OMG, I’m halfway through the date and I am dying. My stomach is churning, I NEED a bathroom now, and excuse myself while he’s getting all romantic-eyed because I was literally going to poop myself if I didn’t get to a toilet immediately. Thank God I made it in time, but I was in there forever. When I came back out to our table, it was awkward. I kept thinking that he must know what took me so long, and then I started spiralling, thinking I must be so unattractive to him now. For the rest of the date, I just wanted it to end. I know I was being pretty standoffish after that. Anyway, I’ve got another date this weekend (different fellow, the guy from last time never called again…it’s no wonder why), and I am thinking of canceling because it’s just too stressful. Am I doomed to be single forever?
A
Absolutely not! Do you have any idea how many people deal with digestive trouble, just as you do? Of course you don’t want to share gory details with a potential great date, but when you sit down for dinner, prior to ordering, just take 1 minute or less and offer an explanation: “Thank you so much for suggesting this place. I love the fact that they offer some good lower-fat options. I don’t have one of those cast iron stomachs, so this is perfect.” That should prevent the pushing of anything drenched in butter, and if you do have to excuse yourself, there’s no more explanation needed.
– Susan F.
MSW/LCSW and Vivante Health Sherpa
